Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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