I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
