I feel great
I just peed on a car
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
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Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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