If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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