Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
