I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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