Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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