When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
