There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
