i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
