Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
