it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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