Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
