Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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