I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
