By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
