I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
