hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
