I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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