It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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