I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
