when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
