So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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