he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Randomize
