Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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