my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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