I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
3 2 1 whiskey
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
