I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
