she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
i now understand why vodka
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
