nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
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