She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
They have beer where we have blood.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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