Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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