Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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