You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
