he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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