Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
