He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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