I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
