heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
