Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We have started to decorate penises.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
