Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
