Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
