I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
