She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
