I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
