i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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