just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
