you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
