with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
