I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
