Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
