I hate your face
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
