4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
