youre lurking in front of me
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize