woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
