This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize