yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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