It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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