so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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