Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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