either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
