You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
