do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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