Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
