I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
