Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
