I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just want to make out with him forever
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
