My hand turned me down
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
