Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I need to align my fucking chakras
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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