Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
